The Season of Our Discontent

This morning, around eleven, a fox ran through the yard. I was walking to my car through the drizzling rain, and the fox darted up from below the barn. It hugged the barn wall, and shot over the road, while I stood watching. Across the road, the fox stopped, turning in the neighbors yard to look back at me. We locked eyes for a moment, but the wind was biting and the rain was cold. We both were quickly on our way.

The last few days have been those of quiet misery here on the farm. It isn't misery of any extravagant sort, just the spoiling misery of early spring discontentment. After a week of unseasonable warmth, the weather shifted last friday, and the oppression of gray and rainy days settled in.

These last weeks, leading up to the returning green, are proving to be the hardest, like the last few yards of a race (or so I would imagine). The barn yard has been tromped into a muddy ruin by the animals, after having at least been dry and walkable last week. Worse still is the pig run; the pigs, bigger now by far than when they first moved into the space, have been in their pen too long. They've torn the ground apart with their rooting, till the whole run looks like a World War I battlefield. They need to be moved to new pasture as soon as possible, but until the ground totally thaws and we stop getting nightly freezes, they're left to trash their current home.

Yet worst of all are the constant hints of spring. The clocks jumped ahead this weekend, but the extra hour of thin gray sunlight is barely distinguishable from all the other hours of thin gray sunlight. Bluebirds are back already, and a pair of plovers have moved into the pasture behind the barn, calling to each other with tinny hawkish cries. Even the chicks, after their rough first week, have grown swiftly and begun to fledge out. Soon, they too will need to move into new quarters.

Mostly, it was the nearly solid week of temperatures in the high fifties that has made this new weather so unpleasant. In that week, I walked the dog daily out in the fields, planning and measuring and thinking about what comes next. I got out and began to shift stones for the walls and even cut back the brush, and there was even sun to do it under. Now, the dog and I are stuck inside, driving each other crazy. We both look up every once in a while, out the window where the rain still falls. And we wait, and wait, and wait...